Sunday, July 01, 2007
Thought #58: chameleon camouflage
I had dried out from crying the day before. Refreshed I moved towards a new hurdle, stumbling on the highroad as I heard the words that pulled the right strings. Choked from guilt and hurt from pain, with a feeling of incompetence and self-loathing. But as I closed in to the task at hand, I gathered as much strength I had left. Social gatherings mean being put to the test. Becoming one with the environment, a chameleon who's mastered the art of blending in. I cling to walls and skirts and others, envelop them and watch as everyone passes me by. Then I process what my eyes see, what I feel and I act accordingly. To what I should and what I shouldn't, though it rarely ever works. I slur and mumble, grump and whine. All the more now.