Saturday, July 08, 2006

Thought #15: NHKにようこそ!

The title reads: NHK ni Youkoso! meaning Welcome to the NHK! Now I should probably explain myself and my crazy thoughts. I was reading a manga this afternoon, with this title. But this is a thought right? I mean, it's not a presentation of some sort, now, is it? Of course it IS a presentation! Of my own bizarre personality. Half my readers (that makes 3 people I guess, I've got quite the crowd going on here you see), will probably stop reading this when they reach the japanese in the title. The other 2 will do so, after they reach the part where I say about the title being a manga (and soon-to-air anime series). One who's reached thus far will prolly be bored cause I haven't even touched a subject. For you patient reader who will read this through and through, you deserve a standing ovation by little old me. You're the one to reach closer to one of my truths. I'm multifaceted and multilayered. But not two-faced. Just write that down so that you don't forget. For future reference. The H from NHK, stands for Hikikomori. If you have the time please read the wiki-entry and then come back to my post for the rest. I really can't write everything myself. Or this will be a reaaally long post. Now that you're back (thanks oh stranger); once I got snapped at while fiercely arguing on MSN (pathetic right? not even a real face to face fight). The person said: "If you want to make your life your room and your PC good luck with that". I'm social. I should probably say this at this point. That person knows that too I guess. Although I've been called dumb and find myself being the silent observer at situations. I went to the movies like 3 days in a row. Fortunately with friends. But I find no courage to start any task, my thesis, my university papers, the strength to study, or even read a book. Well I did read that manga. My life's become my room, my internet connection (cause my PC kinda sucks), my music (oh I should take that back - My PC ROCKS!), mostly suggested by others, but mine whatsoever, drinking juices with friends (I'm not much of an alcohol or even coffee drinker) and going to the cinema. And I can't even watch a DVD nowadays!

Fight oni!

A certain - other - person said he respects me to a friend of ours. What qualities does he see in me that I don't? Now this seems to have turned out like that other post by aurora_eyes, the one about seeing a different person. And I'm taking this personality-wise.

My lighthouse to a colorful world has disappeared from my life, and when I found a beacon, I lost that too. If I fall into the same desperation like last year, I don't think I'll be that brave enough to overcome it. And you know, mental health problems run in my family. So I'm losing it. Or becoming a full-fledged hikikomori. Or my Gemini side is in a heated battle with my Leo side, trying to take over and that makes me the cyclothyme that I am. So expect a happy post tomorrow. Maybe :)

On a lighter note, listen to Gnarls Barkley - Crazy. See? Fun stuff already!

P.S. Images taken from the aforementioned manga's 1st volume. Click for full view (they're translated in english for your reading pleasure!)

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