Thought #57: emo (as always)

When the day ends I process its course and revue the outcome. Maniacally hitting the buttons of the calculator, I try to alter the total. Compulsion or punishment? A zero is all I can get. For effort and strength. For living life to the fullest. My negativity polarizes my world and it begins. Autumn downpour amidst the heat. A winter inside me. And death of all that's important. It sickens me that I can't live my own life. How pathetic...